The world of the geisha, often referred to as the “flower and willow world” (karyūkai), is one shrouded in mystery and misconception. It’s a realm governed by centuries-old traditions and a labyrinth of social rules so intricate they take years of grueling training to master. A geisha is not merely a hostess; she is a living work of art, a custodian of traditional Japanese culture, and her every action, from the subtlest glance to the way she pours sake, is a carefully choreographed performance. Understanding these rules provides a glimpse into a unique and disciplined way of life where grace, discretion, and perfection are paramount.
The Language of Subtlety: Conversation and Discretion
The foremost skill of any geisha is the art of conversation. However, this is not about dominating a discussion or voicing strong opinions. Instead, it is about creating a pleasant and engaging atmosphere for her clients. A geisha must be well-versed in a wide range of topics, from current events and politics to traditional poetry and art, enabling her to converse intelligently with men from any profession. The cardinal rule is to
never cause a guest to lose face. This means she must be a master of tact, skillfully steering conversations away from controversial or uncomfortable subjects. She listens more than she speaks, making her guest feel like the most interesting person in the room.
Her speech itself is a performance. Geisha often use an archaic and highly polite dialect, specific to their district, which adds to the otherworldly ambiance they cultivate. Bragging, complaining, or talking excessively about her own struggles is strictly forbidden. The geisha’s world is one of fantasy and escape for the client; her personal life must remain an impenetrable fortress. This culture of secrecy is absolute. What is said and done at a banquet (ozashiki) is considered confidential. A geisha who gossips about her clients would not only lose their trust but would also bring shame upon her entire geisha house (okiya).
Mastery of Movement and Demeanor
If conversation is the sound of the geisha’s world, her movements are its silent poetry. From the moment she enters a room, a geisha’s bearing communicates her training and status. She moves with a controlled, flowing grace, a result of endless practice in traditional dance (buyo). The way she walks in a restrictive kimono and high wooden sandals (geta or okobo), taking small, shuffling steps, is a hallmark of her profession. This walk, known as a “floating” walk, is considered the epitome of femininity and elegance.
Every gesture is imbued with meaning. The way she kneels in the formal seiza position, rises, or presents a cup is executed with precision. Even the handling of her fan is a language in itself. A closed fan might indicate agreement, while a slowly opening one could signal the beginning of a story or a dance. These non-verbal cues are just as important as spoken words in maintaining the perfect harmony of the gathering. A geisha must never appear clumsy, rushed, or flustered. Her composure is her armor and her art form.
It is a pervasive and incorrect myth that geisha are a form of high-class prostitute. Historically and legally, these professions have always been distinct. The geisha’s role is to entertain through art, conversation, and companionship, not through sexual services. This distinction was even codified by law in Japan to protect the geisha’s profession and prevent confusion with courtesans (oiran).
The Rules of the Banquet (Ozashiki)
The ozashiki is the geisha’s stage, and the etiquette here is at its most demanding. A geisha’s primary role at a banquet is to be the perfect hostess. She is responsible for ensuring the conversation flows, the guests are entertained, and the sake cups are never empty. However, she does not pour her own drink; it is always poured for her by a guest or another geisha, and she must receive it with both hands as a sign of respect. Likewise, when she pours for a guest, she must do so with impeccable grace, holding the sake bottle (tokkuri) with both hands.
She must be acutely aware of the social dynamics in the room. Who is the most senior guest? Who should be served first? She navigates these hierarchies with effortless skill, ensuring no one feels slighted. During the meal, she eats sparingly and discreetly. Her focus is entirely on her guests. Later in the evening, she will perform, perhaps playing the three-stringed shamisen, singing a traditional ballad, or performing a delicate dance. After her performance, she seamlessly rejoins the guests, her role shifting back from artist to companion. The ability to transition between these roles is a critical skill.
Hierarchy and Sisterhood
The geisha world is built upon a rigid hierarchical structure. At the top is the “mother” (okaa-san) of the geisha house. Below her are the senior, established geisha, and at the bottom are the apprentices, known as maiko. A maiko is assigned a senior geisha as her “older sister” (onee-san) in a formal ceremony. This relationship is the cornerstone of her training. The maiko learns everything by observing and assisting her onee-san. She follows her to engagements, watches how she interacts with clients, and learns the intricate rules of the trade through direct mentorship.
This “sisterhood” fosters a strong bond, but it is also based on strict rules of deference. A maiko must always show respect to her older sister and other senior geisha. She speaks only when spoken to and performs tasks for them without question. This system ensures that traditions are passed down perfectly from one generation to the next. The success and reputation of one geisha reflect on her entire house and her onee-san, making discipline and cooperation essential for survival in the competitive hanamachi (geisha district).
